


débutants

by kalypsobean



Category: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Fourth Age, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-08 23:23:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5517002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kalypsobean/pseuds/kalypsobean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Valinor isn't perfect. Who knew?</p>
            </blockquote>





	débutants

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kenaz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kenaz/gifts).



Rivendell was built as a refuge; it has always been larger than it needed to be. He was used to the emptiness, to the wide open spaces and the leaves that were always on the ground, though they no longer retained their golden brown hues. 

The enchantment had faded, since his father left, and now there was little reason to remain. No longer needed as a haven, Rivendell was now only the place where the wandering Elves, too attached to the land to part from it for eternity, rested away from the rain and replenished their supplies. Their needs dwindled, though, as they became wild, distant from the affairs of the world and less inclined to seek rich comforts, and soon, Rivendell would be nothing more than a ruin, returning to the earth as if it was a gift shared with them for but a finite time.

"It is time we sailed, brother," he said. "I know the sea does not call to you, for I do not hear it either, but..."

"The land does not hold us in thrall, as it draws the others," his brother finished. They still spoke out loud, as they were used to company, but he knew his brother felt the same.

"I would like to see Mother," he said. 

They rode to Mithlond the next day, for they had little to take with them and none remained for them to farewell. Any who arrived at Rivendell and did not find them there would know where they were, if they wanted to follow, and if they remained, they could do with the last remnants of luxury as they wished. The twins had no need of pillows on their ride, as used to the wandering life as they were the courtly one, and the ship that waited for them in the harbour would be appointed well enough for their needs. It was small, enough for the two of them and their copies of the Red Book and other tomes of recent history, to add to their father's library and to tell the stories they could not. 

They did not look back when they let their horses free and the ship sailed, into the West.

 

They were grateful that the docks were empty when they arrived; they had heard enough stories of their forefathers that they would have been ashamed to be seen staring at all that surrounded them with wonder and curiosity.

Elrohir passed their luggage to Elladan before climbing out of the ship, and he had barely reached the jetty when it began to move away, as if pulled by an unseen tug.

"We may not be the last," he said. Elladan shrugged, lifting the books on his own and leaving their clothes and the last of the jewels to Elrohir. Some of their sister's belongings had been passed to them in secret, and it was the other reason they were grateful to be met with silence - neither wanted their parents to break down in a formal gathering. 

"We are the last, though. The last of our line, such as it is," Elladan said. "Anyone who follows us now will likely not have family waiting for them at all."

Later, both would be jealous of those Elves yet to come.

 

They walked away from the water, past the empty docks and into the city itself. It was only when they had reached the marketplace that either heard a noise not of their own making. Even then, the Elves around them seemed to move near silently, and it was missing the raucous bustle of the markets of Men or even the lively sounds of their own, much smaller, gatherings. 

"It's not the same here; we tend to trade for what we need that we can't make for ourselves," said someone behind them. They turned, together, and were promptly pulled into a shared embrace with Erestor. Elrohir was taken with how strong Erestor looked, here; he had always been tall and intimidating, though less so as he himself grew, but it was as if a soft glow radiated from his skin, and with a soft grey robe instead of his customary black, he was not surprised that he had not immediately recognised a familiar face.

"You must have made your decision rather quickly, or your parents would have been here to greet you."

"Nana's well again?" Elrohir said. 

"Of course she is," Elladan said. "That's why she came here in the first place."

"She is better," Erestor said. Elrohir recognised the guarded choice of words; it was the way Erestor talked when he needed to be careful of what he said, as if he were not sure who was listening or who might take offence. "She is not as you remember, but she is whole."

"That is enough for me," Elrohir said. "Is she here? Can we see her?"

"And Ada?" Elladan added. 

But Erestor, as soon as the twins let him go, pulled them from the markets and down alleys made of stone until they reached a shadowy inn, as far from the bright and jewelled market as they could be without leaving the city. Elrohir elbowed Elladan every time he looked like he was about to speak, for he judged that Erestor would not be leading them to a place where they were assured of privacy without reason. Indeed, the room was not as dark as the exterior implied, for much of the wall had been carved away and it was as if they were in an elegantly styled cave, reminiscent of the Dwarven-realm ruins. Glorfindel was there too, looking out over the city as if it were his job to guard it as he had stood for Rivendell, once, but when he turned, his serious expression was quickly replace with a wide smile that seemed to allow his fëa to shine so brightly that it was as if the fire of Anar was in the room with them. 

"I see you have kept up with your training," he said. "Both of you seem to have grown even wider than when I saw you last." Elladan threw himself at Glorfindel and was caught in another hug, but Elrohir hung back, for he had not been as close to Glorfindel, and it did not feel right to be so open with him. Glorfindel nodded at him over his brother's shoulder, and that was enough. "I hope you brought your swords with you."

Elrohir nodded as his brother drew away. "We did; it did not seem wise to leave such powerful weapons in the hands of Men."

"With luck, we will not need them here," Glorfindel said. It was then that Elrohir noticed that Erestor had been packing during the brief reunion. "All the same, we shall ride for Tirion as soon as it is dark."

"They did not come with horses," Erestor said. "It was pure luck that I found them at all, and that they came today." 

Glorfindel's eyes narrowed, briefly, as did his fire, which he covered with a cloak, so that he appeared as a normal Elf. "We shall ride two astride. I shall see to our supplies; an extra horse to carry our purchases will not be suspicious. Be ready," he said; as he left, he seemed to acquire weapons from hidden places as if he were arming for battle.

Perhaps he was, Elrohir thought; it seemed, from their lack of welcome to the stillness around them, that the Undying Lands were not the paradise they had been taught to believe.

"What is it, Erestor?" Elladan said, as gently as if he were talking to a frightened animal, for Erestor had become pale. Erestor only shook his head. 

"Not here," he said. "There are some robes there, and tunics. You should change, I think."

 

And so it was that Elladan and Elrohir shared a horse, as they had not done since they were Elflings, and made flight from Alqualondë under cover of night. By some miracle, they entered Tirion at dawn, though the horses were coated with sweat and Elrohir was out of breath; they had not been able to talk for the air moving so quickly past them, and the effort it took to remain on the horse.

Their greeting in Tirion was quite different; though there had not been time to send a message ahead, and they would have beaten a courier by some hours at least, there were open stalls with filled mangers for the horses. All Elrohir had to do was dismount, and hold his brother upright, as Elves they did not know took the horses and their bags from them, even the books. Erestor greeted them all by name, and Glorfindel checked each horse over before entrusting them to the stablehands, who seemed to have chosen their position for love of the animals, but Elrohir could feel Elladan's confusion mirroring his own. By the time Erestor led them up twisting stairs and around curved hallways, Elrohir was not sure he would ever find his way back out. Tirion seemed to be built in layers, not unlike Minas Tirith, but it seemed to have been unplanned, and there was no underlying pattern. The only reason for such a haphazard design, in Elrohir's mind, was to accommodate a large influx of newcomers, as small villages had formed outside the walls of Minas Tirith as the people of Gondor sought protection from the first of Mordor's raiding armies.

It only occurred to him that they were the refugees after he'd asked Erestor about it, and it was Glorfindel who answered. "The city is much changed, since I left it," he said, and that seemed to be the end of it, as if he trusted that Elrohir would be able to draw the inference from his words and no longer needed to be taught.

 

Almost the entire day passed before they saw their parents. While it seemed that rooms had been kept for them, nothing else had been prepared for their eventual arrival, as if their father had doubted their choice. 

"I'm sure that he knew we were coming," Elrohir said, as it was Elladan's turn to be poked and measured for new robes. He was grateful that tunics and leggings and boots did not need to be custom made, and the process was therefore merely uncomfortable. Apparently, none of the clothes which they had brought with them were suitable, though Erestor had slyly suggested that they may wear them underneath the ceremonial robes, at least. "Erestor did say that they didn't know to expect us, though," Elladan said, and suffered a glare from the stranger measuring his chest - it would seem that the kind of robes deemed fashionable would not allow them room to take the breath to speak.

"But Ada would have known we made our choice, at least." Elrohir said.

"I did know," Elrond said. The robesmakers were dismissed amid a flurry of hugs as not only Elrond appeared in the room, but Celeborn and Galadriel, and several of their friends from both Rivendell and Lothlórien. Such physical closeness soon began to feel uncomfortable, though, not only as they had done without it for so long, but it had not been something they indulged in often even before heartfelt goodbyes were common. Also unusual was that they didn't stay; Elrohir shared a glance with Elladan as Elf after Elf seemed to enter and leave, so quickly that neither could remember who had greeted them and whom they were still yet to see. 

"It will take some getting used to," Galadriel said, when only family remained, with Erestor and Glorfindel, who were so close as to be included by default. "Once you've débuted, it will be much easier." Celeborn made a face at them, and though Galadriel could not have seen it, both Elrohir and Elrond hid giggles as she glared in Celeborn's direction. Elrohir didn't dare look at Elladan, not sure that he could keep from hysteria if he saw his expression mirrored on his brother. 

"Where is Nana?" Elladan said, once the amusement had died down and, seemingly from nowhere, Elrond had produced a bottle of miruvor. 

"What is it?" Elrohir said, as Celeborn passed them each a small glass, the look on his face seeming to imply that they would need the fortification. Galadriel looked rather exasperated, but she still accepted the glass, even though she stopped Elrond pouring when it was only a quarter full.

"When Celebrían arrived, the way she was, she wasn't as welcome as we had all hoped." Galadriel said, then swallowed her miruvor all at once. 

"Her body healed, but she doesn't leave our rooms." Elrond said. "You'll see her soon; we'll dine there until your début. And you're family, so you can visit us at any time." 

Elladan nudged Elrohir. It would have appeared accidental, as Elladan drank his miruvor, but Elrohir had also noticed the look of absolute disdain on Celeborn's face. 

"It will take some time to become used to the way things are done, here, but you will become used to it, I promise," Erestor said. 

"I must say, it was a relief to not have to deal with politics for as long as I did," Glorfindel said, nodding at Elrond. He slipped out, and Erestor followed, miming eating. 

"Ada, we brought some of Arwen's things with us for Nana," Elrohir said, despite the unease. "Should we bring them with us?" He looked around, and quickly located the parcel they had packed their memorables in. 

"I think that would be wonderful," Galadriel said. It was the first time, he thought, that she had seemed gentle, rather than immovable and ethereal. He was already readjusting to being around only Elves, with their fëar unhidden, but it would, as everybody kept saying, take time to reconcile the memories of his family with who they had become on this side of the Sea. Galadriel appeared even more aloof and remote, though the occasional warmth showed through, and while Celeborn was always kind to them and willing to play even once they were growing out of their mischievous stage, here he seemed to be one step away from snapping and lighting the entire wing on fire. 

"I agree," Elrond said. "I hope that seeing you will lift her spirits."

 

The trinkets were not much, but Elrohir unpacked them carefully, and explained them each to Celebrían, as she took each one in her hands and held them up so they caught the light. Elladan took them away from her every time, and laid them neatly on the bed next to her. For, indeed, while she appeared hale and spirited, she was still in her bed, and remained under the covers even for them to hug her, and kiss her hair, as they had to say goodbye.

"This one was from Eldarion. He had it made for her for the funeral." Elladan said, as he took the last necklace from Celebrían. "Eldarion was her son," Elrohir said. "He had all this sent to us, so that we could bring it to you, so you would still have a part of her here."

"He must be a lovely boy," Celebrían said, and Elrohir glanced at Elrond, who nodded.

"He has already passed," Elrohir said. "We brought books with us too, for the library. You can read all about him, if you like."

"Thank you," Elrond said. "I'll keep those here."

They did not talk again that evening, for Erestor brought their meal from the kitchen and they ate as a family, surrounding Celebrían, as if no time at all had passed since they had tried everything to keep her with them, and yet, it was painfully obvious that too much had happened for them to truly pick up as they had left off.

 

Erestor guided them back to their rooms soon after, and they saw Galadriel and Celeborn entering a room further down the hall. "Most of us are around here," Erestor said. "I think they built this part on just so we wouldn't be anywhere near them," he said. 

"At least we're close to Nana," Elladan said. He was as shaken by his mother's appearance as Elrohir, and less able to hide it. 

"That is true," Erestor said. "But don't expect any miracles; your mother gets a lot of freedom because of how she came here, and you will, undoubtedly, learn to treasure it." 

"Treasure it?" Elladan said, loudly. Elrohir pushed him into their rooms, and Erestor closed the door behind him.

"Yes," Erestor hissed. Elrohir felt as if they were Elflings in school again as he watched. "Your mother is not as ill as she appears; you had to have noticed this, at least. But she would not have anyone know this, because if she were well, she would be expected to join in with society, so keep your voice down."

Elladan stepped back and sat down on one of the chairs; it was made from a light wood and hardly seemed comfortable to Elrohir's eyes. He chose to lean on the door, in part so that if anyone came near, he would know soon enough to warn his brother. 

"We're not so highly regarded here, are we?" he said. Erestor shook his head.

"Your father will keep those books in his rooms, and share them only with Elves we trust. Are they here?" he said, looking at the parcels. 

"Yes," Elladan said. "That one there, on the bottom," Erestor went to the pile and pushed the top parcels aside. Elrohir winced, though they were only clothes, and his charcoals would have been well enough protected. 

"They are here," Erestor breathed, touching the red cover reverently. Elrohir felt his relief palpably, as if it were a wave of comfort emanating from Erestor. "I'll take them straight to your father when I leave. But first," he said.

"Our début," Elladan said. "Is there any more miruvor?"

Erestor shook his head. "And you'd best not be asking for it. Or Dorwinion, for that matter," he added after a pause. "Actually, just don't ask for anything until you've made friends in the kitchens. We take our meals with Celebrían for a reason."

"Our début," Elladan said, again. "I'm not liking how this sounds, but if we're going to be dressed up and paraded around, I'd like to know why."

Elrohir did not like how it sounded, either.

 

He liked it even less as preparations began. There was another session with the robesmakers, and they brought a seamstress for everything else, and then there was a jewelsmith. They were sent a history teacher, and a Quenya teacher, both of whom Glorfindel barred from entering, though. That day, Erestor muttered darkly about prejudice and nobility and Elladan spent the night in Celebrían's chamber because he had thrown a book against the wall and the binding had split, sending papers everywhere. Elrond prevented him from cleaning it up and taking it for rebinding, so Elrohir was the one who saw the regretful expressions and quickly hidden laughter from the pages sent instead. They did not talk to him, but he felt a little better after they left. 

Whatever indulgence he had towards the process evaporated soon after the dancing lessons, when Galadriel swept into their rooms and insisted on Elrohir modelling his robes and Elladan passing a test on the approved histories. She had been distant from them since that first night, and Elladan was vocal about his resentment as he helped Elrohir dress. 

"You can't say that!" Elrohir hissed. "She's right there!"

"I am," she said. "And you're lucky they trust me enough, or you would have had some stuffy advisor who doesn't know you and would have condemned you to remedial lessons for a season. Even Glorfindel couldn't get you out of those," she said. She pushed Elladan aside and retied Elrohir's sleeves. "You'll do," she said. "You look like a doll, so you'll please them. But as for you," she said to Elladan, and Elrohir could feel her mental disapproval as she did, "you had best let your brother do the talking."

"I still don't understand why," Elrohir said. 

Galadriel sighed, and started to undress him. Elrohir put up with it, because he wasn't sure he would have been able to take the contraption off even with Elladan's help.

"They already disliked those who crossed the Sea, because of the Kinslaying," she said. "But to those who stayed, those of us who didn't return don't belong here. You two are being allowed to début because of me, for which I am sorry, but if you don't do this, you will not be allowed to join in society. Many Elves who came with us work in the stables or the kitchens, because they didn't have parents or grandparents born here. They aren't allowed to enter the Great Square, or live any higher than the base of the mountain."

"That's why we haven't seen Legolas," Elladan said. "Or many of our friends." Galadriel nodded. 

"After your début, you'll be allowed to visit him," she said. "That's why it's very important that you do not make light of this, in any way."

"But what are we supposed to actually do?" Elrohir said. "We can pretend that we read the right books and stories, and we can perform the dances, but surely they won't be testing us on whether we believe their version of our own lives in front of everyone?"

Galadriel smiled at them, and for a moment Elrohir felt comforted, as if they were back home. "You walk up to Finarfin, you bow, you wait for him to tell you to go, and then you stand next to everybody else while everyone fights over what job you'll have. Fortunately for you, you'll be spared that part; your father has arranged for you both to join him at court, where you will perfect the art of standing and doing nothing. It's easy," she said. "But, Elladan, you cannot lose your temper. Make your smart remarks to your brother in your minds, and smile for everyone to see."

Celeborn chose that time to stick his head in. Elrohir was starting to wish that they had a little talan in a forest far away, for all the privacy he had while standing in his room in underwear that resembled his usual attire back home.

"And when you're fully initiated into society, we can show you how we're trying to change things. You did mention that part, didn't you?" Galadriel smiled again, though Elrohir noted that this time it was her inscrutable smile, the one she gave when she was encouraging people to sort out their own thoughts instead of asking her for answers. 

"You just did," she said.

"Well, that's taken care of," he said. "It's time for your last supper as free Elves. Come!" 

Elrohir glanced at Elladan, who shrugged.

 

"I feel like a puppet," Elladan said, when they were fully dressed and jewelled and braided. They had paraded for Celebrían before walking through the city and up the hill to Finarfin's hall. Erestor guided them to an anteroom where a few other Elves, barely past their majority were also left to wait. The ceremonial robes seemed to make them appear smaller than they were, though Erestor's much more simplified version didn't seem to have the same impact on him.

"All this material for one day," Elladan muttered. "We could have clothed a battalion with all this." Elrohir couldn't nudge or kick him without falling over, so instead he just glared. Before he had the opportunity to pull his brother aside, they were being shuffled into the main hall.

The first thing Elrohir noticed was that he was very close to his father, who was near Erestor and many other Elves he recognised, including Gildor. He was grateful to see them so soon, and drew his shoulders back as much as he could, as if he could gain strength from their silent support. The rest of the Elves were much less welcoming; he felt their gazes on him as if they were gusts of cool air, and he could feel his brother grinding his teeth, as if he had to physically struggle to stay quiet. He reached out, and walked slightly towards the centre until he could take his brother's hand. 

_We'll do this together,_ he thought, imagining a bubble around them that reflected the worst of the disapproval. Elladan's grip on his hand eased a bit as they neared the front of the hall, where both Galadriel and Glorfindel stood, behind another Elf. It was very hard for Elrohir to tell whether this was Finarfin, for many of the Elves in the room looked strikingly similar, as if they were closely related.

Galadriel and Glorfindel were dressed in robes far more formal than Erestor's, and for a moment it confused Elrohir, and Elladan with him. They were almost like less ornate versions of their own robes, matching down to the choice of colour. It made more sense, though, when it was their turn to ascend the steps and stand before Finarfin, his black robes seeming to draw the colour and humour from those around him. It was Glorfindel's hand on his shoulder, and Galadriel's hand on Elladan's.

"We present Elladan and Elrohir, sons of Elrond son of Eärendil son of Tuor, and sons of Celebrían daughter of Galadriel daughter of Finarfin."

Finarfin's gaze fell on their joined hands and then up at Galadriel. Something passed between them, not that Elrohir ever hoped to know.

"Do you, Elladan and Elrohir Elrondion, swear to reject Morgoth and his servants and uphold the teachings of the Valar?" he said. His voice was soft and for a moment Elrohir was spellbound, for it carried and seemed to fill the air around him.

"I do," he said, at the same time as Elladan and only because Elladan squeezed his hand so hard he could feel a bruise forming.

"Will you swear to serve our society faithfully and without wavering in your resolve?" Finarfin's eyes were grey and deep, and Elrohir focused on Elladan's hand, and Glorfindel's touch, though that he could barely feel through the fabric, and it was more Glorfindel's fëa that he sought out for strength.

"I do," he said again. 

Finarfin leaned down and briefly tapped first Elladan's shoulder, then Elrohir's own, with his short sword, dulled but still bearing the scars of war.

"Then be welcome," he said, and the spell was released. Elrohir leaned on Glorfindel as he rose, and followed his brother and grandmother to the far side of the dais, where, as promised, they stood while the other Elves were presented and their futures debated.

 

They were spared dining in the hall, for a page whispered in Finarfin's ear and they were abruptly dismissed. Glorfindel herded them through a side door and through another veritable maze, this one underground, until they were back in their own wing. Celebrían greeted them at the door and helped them change into their own clothes, which Glorfindel brought from their rooms. Galadriel arrived with Elrond and Celeborn only scant minutes after the jewelled headpieces were removed and placed carefully on the empty, rumpled bed.

"Ada, is it too late to go back? To Rivendell?" Elladan said. Elrohir could not help but echo the sentiment, wishing for what now seemed such a simple life.

Elrond sighed, and looked at them with infinite sadness, the same way he had looked when he told them that Arwen had chosen to be mortal and that Celebrían would be sailing without them. "The way is shut." _It was made by those who are dead, and the dead keep it._ Elrohir looked at Elladan, knowing that the same words were in his brother's mind as well. In that moment, as in many after, he was grateful that he did not have to deal with this all on his own.

**Author's Note:**

> So, think of Valinor like feudal England. Since it's not all sunshine and (more like the Wars of the) Roses, I felt that to introduce this concept it was easier to see it described through people entirely new to the system and such codified inequality, hence the focus on mostly Third Age Elves, and there's every chance that I might come back to this version of Valinor and Tirion later, especially if there are specific Elves you would like to see. Like, all those Elves who have live outside the city actually use those underground tunnels to get to work every day because they aren't allowed to use the main street, and there's Celeborn running a secret resistance and plotting a coup but they can't decide who to put in power. The actual début ceremony is a mix of the traditional début for marriage reasons and the Catholic rite of Confirmation but because Elladan doesn't like being called a girl, it's for jobs/trades and nothing to do with marriage or religion except for swearing off ultimate evil (but not secret coups, because reasons). But I'm running out of time to post, so Happy Holidays!


End file.
